Tuesday, March 08, 2005

It's A Mad Mad World

Beautiful Atrocities has this scoop:


Being the diary of a woman who, gobbling red pills & blue pills, veers from mild-mannered red-state conservative to ruthless blue-state dominatrix.

Scrappleface on Dan Rather's imminent retirement:

Dan Rather to Confess: 'I'm a Conservative American'

(2005-03-06) -- A leaked copy of Dan Rather's farewell address, scheduled for delivery Wednesday night, contains the veteran newsman's shocking confession that, despite decades of liberally-biased reporting, he's actually a registered Republican and has secretly channeled millions of dollars to GOP candidates.

"For all of these years, I have lived a lie," Mr. Rather will say as he bids goodbye to his CBS Evening News audience member. "I have overcompensated for my natural instincts by aggressively slanting the news in favor of my political opponents -- those pathetic liberals.

And from the Borowitz Report, we have this gem:

Becomes Lead Singer as Bono Leaves for World Bank

Longtime Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan stunned the worlds of finance and pop music today by announcing that he would leave his post “effective immediately” to become lead singer of the Irish rock band U2.

In filling the key position with the platinum-selling musical act, Mr. Greenspan is replacing U2 lead singer Bono, who is rumored to be heading for the top job at the World Bank.

Mr. Greenspan struck many observers as an unlikely choice to assume such an important role in one of the world’s most influential rock bands, since his convoluted and often cryptic use of the English language seems incompatible with the more straightforward demands of rock music.

If you really need a laugh, be sure to check out all three. Remember HUMOR is a very advanced psychological defense mechanism!

No comments: