Saturday, August 28, 2004

A Proven Strategy

Now, it is not my intent to vote for Kerry (you may have noticed that) but since I am feeling sorry for him at the moment, I have come up with a TERRIFIC scenario for his campaign!

I recommend that he call a press conference and, with his adoring wife by his side, he announce that the reason he said all those nasty things about the military back in 1971 was because he was in agony and struggling with his sexuality. That this intense internal conflict separated him from others and made him do and say terrible things; but that now--33 years later--he has finally looked deep into the mirror of his soul found his own unique truth in the world. (He doesn't actually have to give details about which direction the unique truth has been resolved, so that he could in future go either way if he had to). Then he could plead for understanding and support for having finally made this difficult decision to publically reveal his "unique truth". If absolutely necessary, he could resign from the Senate to demonstrate his remorse at hurting hundreds of thousands of veterans with his indiscrete and shameful behavior in 1971 and beyond.

Of course, this would not hurt his current status as Democratic Presidential Candidate. On the contrary, it might actually enhance it(among his political base), because by his public announcement he would be enrolled in the ranks of official victimhood, and should be able to indefinitely postpone having to deal with the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth accusations! He could ascribe any and all inconsistencies in speech and behavior to his terrible internal anguish at the betrayal of his unique truth.

Hell, he could ascribe his entire behavior since 1971 (at least anything anyone had questions about) to the same psychological torment he was going through!

After all, this is a proven strategy!

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