Sunday, August 22, 2004

Headlines I'd Like To See

Well, its time for me to discharge all my pent-up anger and hostility and rage! Beware!

IRAQI WOMEN SWEEP MEDALS IN GYMNASTICS AND BEACH VOLLEYBALL

OSAMA BIN LADEN FOUND DEAD AND ABANDONED IN AFGHANISTAN CAVE

MICHAEL MOORE, BROKE AND PENNILESS, NOW EKES OUT LIVING AS A JANITOR

MAUREEN DOWD, NOTED COLUMNIST, DIAGNOSED WITH ALZHEIMERS

KERRY VIETNAM MEDICAL RECORDS PROVE HIS ENTIRE VIETNAM HISTORY A SHAM

HEINZ FORTUNE LOST IN BAD INVESTMENTS

KERRY SUES WIFE FOR DIVORCE, NOW DATING BILL GATES' DAUGHTER
"We're in love!" gushes former presidential candidate Kerry

EUROPEAN STANDARD OF LIVING DECLINES AS MORE PEOPLE CHOOSE NOT TO WORK AND LIVE OFF GOVERNMENT

NORTH KOREAN DICTATOR ASSASSINATED BY OWN TROOPS

U.N. DISBANDS AFTER ADMITTING LARGEST FINANCIAL SCANDAL IN HISTORY

KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN FOUND TO BE KEY TO LONG LIFE AND GOOD HEALTH; ICE CREAM AND DONUTS A CLOSE SECOND!

and, of course:

BUSH WINS IN A LANDSLIDE!

There! I feel so much better!

No comments: