Tuesday, September 04, 2007

HOW DOES HE KNOW? THE QURAN TELLS HIM SO!

The President of Iran is counting on his mathematical skills (and Allah, of course) to prevent American's from raining on (and reining in) his nuclear ambitions:
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has sought to justify his confidence the United States will not attack Iran, saying the proof comes from his mathematical skills as an engineer and faith in God, the press reported on Monday.
Ahmadinejad told academics in a speech that elements inside Iran were pressing for compromise in the nuclear standoff with the West over fears the United States could launch a military strike.

"In some discussions I told them 'I am an engineer and I am examining the issue. They do not dare wage war against us and I base this on a double proof'," he said in the speech on Sunday, reported by the reformist Etemad Melli and Kargozaran newspapers.

"I tell them: 'I am an engineer and I am a master in calculation and tabulation.

"I draw up tables. For hours, I write out different hypotheses. I reject, I reason. I reason with planning and I make a conclusion. They cannot make problems for Iran.'"

Ahmadinejad has long expressed pride in his academic prowess. He holds a PhD on transport engineering and planning from Tehran's Science and Technology University and is the author several of scientific papers.


HOW DO I KNOW? THE QURAN TELLS ME SO

Have faith, hope and skill in math
And you won't face Allah's wrath
How do I know, the Quran tells me so
(The Quran tells him)

Just Kill every infidel,
And Allah won't send you to hell!
How do I know, the Quran tells me so
(The Quran tells him)

Don't worry 'bout tomorrow
Just kill those Jews today
Allah is right beside you
He'll guide you all the way

Wipe Israel off the world map,
And prove the Holocaust was crap
How do I know, the Quran tells me so!
(The Quran tells him)

So, don't worry and be cheerful
When we have nukes they'll be more careful;
How do I know, the Quran tells me so!
(That's how he knows it)

Deceive all your enemies
And Allah you will surely please
How do I know, the Quran tells me so
(That's how he knows it)

There's no tomorrow anyway
The 12th Imam's due any day
And when the end of times is here
Millions dead? Why should I care?

Oh, the Quran says we must submit
To my brilliant mathematical wit
How do I know, (oh, how does he know)
How do I know, (oh, how does he know)
The Quran tells me so!

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