MY YALE

John Fund has an interesting article at Opinion Journal that tells the story of the recent exchange of emails regarding a former top Taliban official, Sayed Rahmatullah Hashemi's acceptance at Yale; resulting in an accusation of "Are you retarded" from a Yale Law School administrator, directed to several Yale graduates who were upset about the whole thing.

I particularly liked Ben Stein's comment that Yale was being run by "fruit loops".

Anyway, the whole affair reminded me of one of the few Eminem songs I happen to like somewhat, "My Band" (sans the trashy language), and soon I found myself rapping along in my head...

MY YALE

[Yale Administrator]
I don't know dude, I think everyone's all jealous and stuff,
Coz I'm like at the lead college of the land dude,
And I think everybody's got a freakin' problem with me dude,
And they need to take it up with me after the semester,

Because

[Chorus - Yale Fruit Loops]
These grads don't even know the Taliban's name
But they're all on us like they think that we're lame
Coz once we choose someone he's headed for fame
And we're just playin the diversity game

[Yale Administrator]
So they pick this guy, a Taliban right?
Walk up to the media and I'm all like
"S'up ladies, my names Mr. Yale, I'm the director of giving at Yale"
And they're all like "Oh my God I'm in love!, Becky oh my freakin God it's Surovov!, I swear to freakin God this guy's a real honey, please please please let me give you my money"
Now by now, the rest of the alumni get jealous
Especially when I dropped the ball and stood up for this fella
The right wingnuts start yellin' and all their the hot babes
Get their bras and their shirts and their panties in a rage
So like why are they trying to pick a fight with me
Don't they understand about college rivalry?
I mean I wasn't gonna let Harvard get the drop on me
Coz their admissions office always tries to steal the light from me
Just coz some other terrorist tried to pull a knife on me
When I told him that Hashimi was a student-to-be
He was a Taliban rockstar in another life you see
Now he's a Yalie like President B

[Chorus - Yale Fruit Loops]
These grads don't even know the Taliban's name
But they're all on us like they think that we're lame
Coz once we choose someone he's headed for fame
And we're just playin the diversity game

[Bridge - Yale Fruit Loops]
My Yale, my Yale, my Yale, my Yale, my Yale, my Yale, my Yale, my Yale, my Yaaaaaaaaale, my Yale baby

[Yale Administrator]
Goshdarnit I'm so sick of these grads
They'll never be into these chic terrorist fads
We're great at like pickin people who aint goin noplace
We get them started at Yale regardless of race
Cept Taliban it aint even a race
Afghanistan ain't exactly a place
For the media, I got some suggestions
Come on guys, ask me some questions
Like why Yale, and how'd he get started
(But what about the Taliban?)
Hey, are you retarded?
Anyway he'll become the popularest guy in the dorm
He was their PR man and'll fit in with the norm
I'm sure Yale's image will be even more buff
If it weren't for you dudes gettin all in a huff
And want to send Yale
A red press-on fingernail

[Yale Administrator]
Hey why can't you see he's the only one for me
And it just tears me up to know that you don't know his name

[Chorus - Yale Fruit Loops]
These grads don't even know the Taliban's name
But they're all on us like they think that we're lame
Coz once we choose someone he's headed for fame
And we're just playin the diversity game

[Yale Administrators and Hashimi]
My Yale, my Yale, our Yale, your Yale, our Yale, our man, Taliban

[Yale Administrator- using an Afghani or Arab Accent]
I'm the lead Yale donation dude and I make all the alumni call me Bro-
I'm the lead Yale donation dude my gift plans make all the rich guys give me dough.
My gift plans

Look out for my next admit to Yale he's from "Al Qaeda"
Al Qaeda Qaeda Qaeda Qaeda
Al Qaeda makes all the rich guys want to donate and put their money on the plate
Al Qaeda makes all the rich guys want to donate and put their money on the plate
Al Qaeda

Hey,where did everybody go?