A Christmas quiz:What I want to know is, have we all been sleeping these last --oh, I don't know--10 years or so? How in heaven's name did all the political correct assininity become so prevalent? How did it sneak up and like the Grinch, sneaking down from his mountan, steal Christmas away from us?
The "winter program" at Ridgeway Elementary School in Dodgeville, Wis., changed the lyrics of the Christmas carol "Silent Night" to the more inclusive "Cold in the Night." ("Cold in the night, no one in sight, winter winds whirl and bite.") After this success, the program's next step will obviously be:
(a) Changing "O Holy Night" to "Uh-oh! Wholly night!" a song about a lunar eclipse.
(b) Singing "O Little Town of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania."
(c) A song celebrating the comeback of the American auto industry, "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Ford."
(d) A ditty about hoping for snow at the Panama Canal, "I'm dreaming of a white isthmus."
The modern name for Christmas trees is now:
(a) Giving trees
(b) Trees of color
(c) Seasonal conifers
(d) Inclusion bushes
(e) Tall lit-up flora
(f) Those pointy green things with needles and lights
Isn't it time to say "enough is enough" to this mind-boggling insanity? "Cold in the Night"? Trees of color?? Red and Green offensive? What is the matter with these people? Who died and made them holiday fuehrers? Does the multicultural mob live in thrall to the White Witch? Or are they simply PC Grinches?
Whos like me are just about fed up with their shennanigans.
Right about now these Christmas Grinches are up the side of Mt. Crumpit:
"Pooh-Pooh to the Whos!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"Then the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!
"That's a noise," ginned the Grinch,
"That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising oer the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
They can try all they want, but they haven't stopped Christmas from coming at all.