I used to really like Garrison Keillor when I was in college and medical school. He was genuinely funny, and Lake Wobegon seemed almost like a real place with its perfectly funny and unique people. Apparently, though, none of those people could possibly be a Republican. According to Keillor's new book Homegrown Democrat: a Few Plain Thoughts from the Heart of America., Republicans are:
...hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, see-through fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, hobby cops, misanthropic frat boys, lizardskin cigar monkeys, jerktown romeos, ninja dittoheads, the shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, cheese merchants, cat stranglers, taxi dancers, grab-ass executives, gun fetishists, genteel pornographers, pill pushers, chronic nappers, nihilists in golf pants, backed-up Baptists, Crips and Bloods of the boardroom...
How clever. The women may be strong, and the men good-looking, but obviously neither spend any time thinking. Let's hope the above average children are a little more diverse in their intellectual functioning.
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