I GET A KICK FROM FREE SPEECH

(the usual apologies to Cole Porter and Frank Sinatra for stealing from their lovely song, I Get No Kick From Champagne)

This is a story that has to be told
Though Mohammed cartoons might leave you quite cold
The only bright spot in this whole damn mess
Is that we clearly can see, in spite of Europe's ennui
What life under Islam would be
Now, I must confess...

I get no kick from cartoons
Mere artist's scrawl doesn't thrill me at all
No matter what mullahs preach
I get a kick from free speech

Some get their kicks from Maria
And others swoon at the thought of shar'ia
If Muslim, Christian or Jew
I can make fun out of you

I get a kick every time you're offended before me
I get a kick though it's clear to me that you obviously do not adore me

I get no kick from Iran
The nut who rules thinks that we are all fools
As he expounds with aplomb
That he has a right to the bomb

I get no kick from cartoons
Mere artist's scrawl doesn't thrill me at all
No matter what mullahs preach
I get a kick from free speech!

DON'T APOLOGIZE.