In light of continuing revelations about the depth and breadth of the ever-expanding UN Oil-For-Food Scandal (UNSCAM) --see recent articles here and here, for example); and the anti-Israeli, anti-American agenda of the U.N. (see here, for example) I have decided to reprise my knock-off song from the Pirates of Penzance. Sung to the tune of "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General".Little did WS Gilbert realize that he would be accurately describing the antics of that crazy, fun-loving group over at the United Nations. It is important to remember that these modern-day pirates deserve to be given no moral authority by any nation that supports freedom and democracy.
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A SECRETARY GENERAL
SECRETARY GENERAL ANNAN:
I am the very model of a Secretary-General,
I specialize in matters both nefarious and criminal,
I know the heads of every state, preferring those inimical
to all the freedom-loving institutions democratical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters philosophical,
And implementing Marxist theories surely is most practical;
About Oil-for-Food, I'll stonewall anything that's new,
And keep on hiding facts about the way we scammed the lot of you!
ALL:
And keep on hiding facts about the way we scammed the lot of you!
And keep on hiding facts about the way we scammed the lot of you!
And keep on hiding facts about the way we scammed the lot of you!
SECRETARY GENERAL:
I'm very good at making statements quite ridiculous;
Pretending that the money from Saddam was quite miraculous;
In short, in matters both nefarious and criminal,
I am the very model of a Secretary General.
ALL:
In short, in matters both nefarious and criminal,
He is the very model of a Secretary General!
SECRETARY GENERAL:
In fact, when I know what is meant by "integrity" and "honesty",
When I can mumble all my lies with obvious sincerity,
And keep the free world all locked up in its myopathy,
And when I know precisely what they mean by my "psychopathy";
When progress has been made treating antisocial personality,
When I know more of leadership than Kerry knows reality--
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental management,
This Secretary General will say much more than "no comment".
ALL:
This Secretary General will say much more than "no comment"!
This Secretary General will say much more than "no comment"!
This Secretary General will say much more than "no comment"!
SECRETARY GENERAL:
Though my knowledge of dictatorships is sly and somewhat dastardly,
I think I will support them with great joy in this new century;
And still, in matters both nefarious and criminal,
I am the very model of a Secretary General!
ALL:
But still, in matters both nefarious and criminal,
He is the very model of Secretary General!
------------------------------------------------
And while I'm at it, here is a little ditty based on the Dr. Seuss book, Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now! DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN, KOFI!
The time has come.
The time has come.
The time is now.
Just go.
Go.
GO!
We don't care how.
You can go to hades.
You can go ker-plow!
Kofi Annan, will you please go now!
You can go to Iraq
You can march with the Lebanese
You can go to Iran or Sudan,
But please go. Please!
We don't care.
You can take a hike.
You can go on a political retreat if you like.
If you like you can go visit Kojo in a zoo.
Jut go, go, GO!
Please do, do, DO!
Kofi Annan, we don't care how.
Kofi Annan, will you please GO NOW!
We said GO and GO we shout....
The time has come.
SO...
Kofi, get OUT!
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