Hamster Wars!

Via Betsy's Page comes this little gem as to why Kerry is losing the hamster owner's vote!

The battle began at the Democratic National Convention when Alexandra Kerry, candidate John Kerry’s daughter, told what she obviously believed was a touching story of her heroic father. "We were standing on a dock waiting for a boat to take us on a summer trip," she said. "Our golden retriever got tangled in his leash and knocked the hamster cage off the dock. We watched as Licorice, the unlucky hamster, bubbled down to a watery doom. But my dad jumped in, fished the cage from the water, and began to administer CPR."
Now, granted, this is a pathetic image of a man so desperate to please his kids, so eager to protect his reputation as a "man of action," that he would resuscitate a dying hamster. Knowing Kerry, it wouldn’t surprise me to hear that he also grabbed a hamster defibrillator and yelled "CLEAR!" as he energized the tiny paddles on little Licorice’s chest—and then put in for a Purple Heart (for himself, not Licorice).

Read the whole thing--it's pretty funny!