Clearly we need the CIA and the FBI to change into more compassionate and caring agencies. And I have a simple suggestion. Here is a recent email I received, presumably from "@fbi.gov"(at least that was the return address):
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edger Hoover building 935
Pennsylvania avenue, NW Washington D.C
We the Federal bureau of investigation (FBI) Washington, DC have been
informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network, that you
are presently having a transaction going on in Nigeria.
This is to let you know that we have taken out time in screening through
this project as stipulated on our protocols of operation and have finally confirmed that your payment of $2,300,000.00 is 100% genuine and hitch free from all facet and of which you have the lawful right to claim your fund without any further delay.
All you have to do now to receive your funds is to open a bank account with Wema Bank Plc in Nigeria where your funds will first be transfered into. As soon as the account is activated, you will then transfer yourfunds to your personal account in America.
This Is An Official Advice From The FBI, Foreign Remittance/Telegraphic
WARNING: THE ONLY FEE REQUIRED TO OPEN THE ACCOUNT WITH WEMA BANK PLC
IS $350.00 Minimum initial deposit
You are to contact the genuine office for an account openning details with
the details below:
Prof. Tony Obi
We will be monitoring all your dealings with them as you proceed so you
have nothing to worry about.
Robert S. Mueller III
Yes, yes. I know must certainly be a fake. Because our intelligence agencies are awful and just so mean and vile, they could never in a million years be so sweet and concerned about little ol' me.
I'm sure President Wonderful will fix that soon, though.
UPDATE: Now this is exactly what our Feds need to be doing to prove they're looking out for us.