Sunday, October 21, 2012

I'VE GOT A LITTLE LIST (AND IT'S IN A BINDER)

Mark Steyn can't resist talking about "The Great Binder Blunder"--a critical issue for our times in which the Democrats have finally found their voice (or whistle, so to speak):
The women were chanting “Equal rights, not binders,” and they were protesting the following remarks by Mitt Romney at the presidential debate:

“And so we took a concerted effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds that could be qualified to become members of our cabinet. I went to a number of women’s groups and said, ‘Can you help us find folks?’ And they brought us whole binders full of women.”

Yes!!!!!!! With one bound, Obama was unbound! Romney had just made the worst presidential-debate gaffe since Gerald Ford declared there was no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe. In the previous weeks, Obama had attempted to have a serious conversation with the citizenry, as befits the electoral process of a mature republic. He had raised the critical questions of our time — free contraceptives for middle-aged coeds, the outrageous right-wing Muppophobic assault on Big Bird — but the public had failed to bite. Now, in one fatal error, Romney had handed him the winning issue: binders!
[...]
On MSNBC, Chris Matthews and Ed Schultz deplored Romney’s descent into chauvinist “code words.” “To the sexist Republican base,” said Chris, “‘binders’ is a dog whistle.”

“A wolf whistle,” said Ed.

“Exactly,” said Chris. “It’s like asking for watermelon at the NAACP luncheon, not that I ever did that and it was a long time ago.”

“Or addressing the LGBT group and asking the guy if he’s got the new Judy Garland box set,” said Ed.

“That was you, not me,” said Chris.

“But underneath the code language we all know what’s really being said here,” argued Ed. “Send in the women, and I’ll get out my E-Z one-touch hole punch.”

“Okay, moving on,” said Chris, “here’s a leaked video of Romney addressing the board at Bain Capital while he was closing factories throughout the Midwest. It’s a bit muffled, but if you listen carefully you can hear Romney arguing that it would make more economic sense for him to give every American woman cancer and outsource matrimony to a binder full of mail-order brides from the Philippines.”

“Why do you think they call them Manila folders?” added Ed. “We all know the code words.”

“Why do you think he founded Staples in the first place?” demanded Chris. “What kind of a deal do you figure he’s getting on the binders?”

Sure, the Republicans still insist on bringing up trivial, peripheral distractions like Benghazi, Obamacare, multi-trillion-dollar debt, unsustainable entitlements, permanent long-term unemployment, and the looming January 1 “fiscal cliff.” But Democrats know that, if Romney gets his way, there’ll be nothing at the bottom of the fiscal cliff to break your fall except binders. In RomneyWorld, when the mullahs drop the big Iranian nuke, there’ll be nothing crawling out from the irradiated rubble except cockroaches and binders — or some hideous mutation of the two: bindroaches, vile creatures prowling the land on three pairs of jointed rings ready to snap shut on your daughters’ ankles as they attempt to access the last Planned Parenthood clinic in America.

Yes, folks, it has come down to the wire, and binders what the Democrats want to talk about. Binders are the "Outrage of the Day". This is the issue that can unite Obama's pathetic victimhood base, always searching for another reason to feel oppressed.

Personally I'm sick of it. A rare thing happened the other day--I actually agreed with Hillary Clinton on something: STOP WHINING

But you know they won't. So, in the spirit of Gilbert and Sullivan, I've decided to put all the whiners and profession victims and their enablers on a little list....

ME: The day has come, it's happened
There are victims all around!
So, I've got a little list
I've got a little list
of those purveyors of oppression whose stupidity abounds
And who never would be missed,
They never would be missed

There's the whiners of those women's groups who protest eveything,
Who want it all right now please, and they want it all for free.
All the jokers who want free phones and a mortgage paid by me!
(I hate that!)
All the food police and fat police who know what you should eat
(see what i mean? Tastes awful doesn't it? It's terrible, they think their tastebuds are morally superior, it's unforgivable)
And Mullah Omar, Reverand Wright and all fake religionists
They'll none of 'em be missed (Amen!)
They'll none of 'em be missed (Praise Allah!)

Chorus: She's got 'em on the list
She's got 'em on the list
And they'll none of them be missed
They'll none of them be missed!

ME: There's the laughing VP Biden, and the others of his ilk,
That happy snappy Colbert guy-
*HaHa*
I've got him on the list
There's the people who redistribute wealth while wearing ties of silk
they never would be missed
they never would be missed

The female UN diplomat who's lying through her teeth;
The spokesman just like Baghdad Bob who covers for The Chie;f
Utopian fanatics who when Barack Obama's heard
will faint and shriek and gurgle and then never hear a word
(it makes you want to puke)

And that singular absurdity the flukish Sandra Fluke!
I don't think she'll be missed
I'm sure she won't be missed

Chorus: She's got her on the list (la-la)
She's got her on the list (I do)
And I don't think she'll be missed (uh-uh)
I'm sure she'll not be missed!

ME: There's the liberals and leftists who want to live YOUR life
And make all you decisions, I've got them on the list
The ones who want to spread your wealth around and make all sorts of strife
they never would be missed
they never would be missed

Politician when campaigning who are such adventurous folk,
they flip flop like a fish, you see, its really such a joke
I have more empty spaces left but what is one to do?
the task of filling up the list i'd rather leave to you
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list
for they'll none of them be missed!
They'll none of them be missed!

Chorus: You may put 'em on the list (You may)
You may put 'em on the list (Go ahead)
And they'll none of them be missed
They'll none of them be missed!
Little list!


Of course, the original is much better and can be adjusted to accommodate any cultural idiots:

2 comments:

n.n said...

Everyone has a story to tell.

Jane Edmonds Speech at the Republican National Convention RNC

Some are better and more credible than others.

Library-Gryffon said...

Apparently I didn't get the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy decoder ring because I keep missing all the dog whistles that the Left swears are being incessantly used by Romney and the Republicans.

I'm feeling a bit miffed at being left out! (Not.)