Cole's a Lumberjack or Something....

With regard to the animated intellectual battle going on between Professor Juan Cole and Jonah Goldberg over at The Corner, I thought I'd weigh in with my assessment. Read on.

I'm On The Faculty
(in honor of Juan Cole and to the tune of "I'm a Lumberjack" from Monty Python)

Cole:
I'm on the faculty and I'm OK
I think all night and I sleep all day.

Chorus:
He's on the faculty and he's OK
He thinks all night and he sleeps all day.

Cole:
I think ideas, I write them down, I go to the university.
On Wednesdays I go slumming and let students lecture me.

Professors:
He thinks ideas, he writes them down, He goes to the university.
On Wednesdays he goes slumming and lets students speak for free.

Chorus:
He's on the faculty and he's OK
He thinks all night and he sleeps all day.

Cole:
I think ideas, I worship Kos, I wear weird-colored socks.
I put on Arab's clothing and hang around in mosques.

Professors:
He thinks ideas, he worships Kos, he wears weird-colored socks.
He puts on Arab's clothing and hangs around in mosques.

Chorus:
He's on the faculty and he's OK He thinks all night and he sleeps all day.

Cole:
I think ideas, I read big books, and know how things should be
I never have to bother with crude reality.

Professors:
He thinks ideas, he reads big books? He knows how things should be? ...
He's never has to bother with crude reality?
He's on the faculty and he's OK He thinks all night and he sleeps all day. ...

All:
He's/I'm on the faculty and he's/I'm OK He/I think all night and he/I sleep all day.